THE LIGHT IN FRONT

Note: I wrote about 4 hours worth of blog stuff the other day and when I hit “save draft” the whole shit got erased. Shortly after that, I punched things.

So up we get in Wisconsin for a quick coffee and 10 hours of ass haulin’. The drive was about as long as it sounds, but was nevertheless punctuated by several moments of interest.

The first was my first (and only) stoppage by a police officer for speeding, a few hours into Minnesota. To some extent I wasn’t too stressed when I got caught cause it often happens to people on these roadtrips. Somewhere on this drive you cross a threshold where cars on the road around you completely disappear and you have no proper frame of reference for average traffic speed. It’s very easy to keep accelerating without really feeling it, and before I know it a cop Mustang is flashing his lights behind me. I figured what the hell, get a ticket and take it easy from now on.

Officer pulls up, wearing an impressive Wilford Brimley moustache, and says “Wow, Puerto Rico, that’s a long way from here!”. Once again, my license plate sparks debate, in this case a very positive one. He was immediately interested on how the hell a PR car ended up in Minnesota, and when I told him the tale of the trip, as well as our plans to get to the Badlands, he lit up with smiles. Turns out he camps there often, and the traffic stop ended up with him sharing stories and tips for our stay there (”Tons of rattlesnakes!”). He let us go with a warning and a good luck. Big ups to the garita for saving the day.

A few hours after that we hit up Sioux Falls for a quick stop at a co-op and a late lunch. We committed the cardinal sin of getting groceries while hungry, so we logically bought more food than we could possibly consume for the entire stay. Thai curry cashew nuts? Are you kidding me? Gimme a pound of that shit. Armfuls of fresh fruit and delicious organic stuff, it ended up being a great thing for me, since afterwards I inherited the hefty leftover bounty and enjoyed it for days afterwards. Thanks for the hookup, Hanna.

We also came across an absolutely majestic wind farm with gigantic windmills as far as the eye could see:

The day crept along and sundown was imminent while we were about an hour and a half away from the Badlands. Not only that, but a terrific shitkicker of a storm was brewing from the south, and was quickly taking over the sky:

We had only one last stop to make, to fill up on gas and get a few last minute items. We stopped at a station about 10 miles away from the entrance to the Badlands. The wind picked up considerably while I was pumping gas, and as sharp raindrops started pelting my head, I became extremely concerned about the conditions in which we would have to set up a tent later on. I was about to hop in the car and tear ass down the road when Hanna comes back from a building next to the gas station, telling me I HAVE to go see something real quick. I explain we have to get out of there NOW, but she convinces me it’ll be worth the extra 2 galons of water I would have dumped on me by the sky later.

So I follow her into this building, which was some sort of western art gallery/wild west museum, full of stuffed buffalo heads and shit with feathers on it. We go all the way to the back, avoiding some protruding antlers along the way, and reach an unassuming doorway on the back wall, which Hanna prompts me to open and look inside.

I twist the handle and step into another fucking dimension.

In front of me was an entire ancient wild west town, with horse stables, bales of hay, a sheriff’s office, bars with swinging doors and windows for drunkard defenestration, you name it. All there in perfect pristine condition, the main street laid out in front of me with rows of buildings on each side, rolling hills on the far end, and an ominous sky beginning to thunder above it all. Apparently some rich dude way back wanted to preserve this town, which originally resided in another land, and thus transported every single original still-standing building to this new location, hidden behind a gas station. Super fucking awesome and totally worth the delay, but due to the urgency of leaving I was not able to grab my camera for a few pics.

We peel out of the gas station/taxidermist art gallery/wormhole into the past and cover the last short leg to the park entrance. By then, darkness had fallen in, and the storm had begun to rage… the outlook was pretty dismal. Even though the rain wasn’t too terrible, the winds would make it impossible to set up a tent. Unsurprisingly, there was no one at the entrance present to charge us the $10 we were supposed to pay for a 7-day pass, so we just passed through and headed to the main camp, which was supposed to be about 6 miles in from the park entrance.

That short trip was about as intense an introduction to the Badlands as you can get. We were in total darkness and completely unable to see anything beyond the reach of the headlights. The only indication of what lay around us came with the frequent flashes of lightning that would outline eerie rock formations in the distance, giving the distinct impression of walking straight into Mordor.

We reach the camp, and to our surprise, quite a few people had settled in, weather be damned. We nabbed what appeared to be a good spot, at least from what we could tell in the darkness. Miraculously enough, no sooner do we get out of the vehicle that the weather clears up, the winds die down, and rain barely registers (the darkness stays though), and so we got the tent up in no time, followed by a quick delicious meal. We fell asleep knowing we were deep into the Badlands, but we were clueless as to what actually lay around us.

I had no idea what to expect the next morning when the sun woke me up and I opened that tent zipper.